Mum's the word

Due to my accident, in my previous blog, it seems even with all this time off my blog has been lacking - well I guess you all didn't want to hear of the adventures of my watching Friends re-runs and eating Ben&Jerrys. But I'm back with my newest unfortunate incident!


Well, I'm just about all better, back at work - still pulling the old "Ow, my ankle I may need breakfast in bed" on James. But I'm basically on the mend. Which means of course, my mother will now see it fit time to visit me.


I should explain - me and mum aren't close, she used to work as an air hostess- basically - when I was a little kid, so I didn't see her ever, so we weren't close and I got close to my dad. But when he died, she had to stop that and worked elsewhere. To be honest, I saw her more when she flew about. But to speak frankly we aren't close, and NEVER will be. Plus, my psychology degree's have taught me this is why I am the way I am - so ha I can blame my personality defects on my mum - though I don't to her face - I don't say much to her face. Actually I think she read about my ankle off my friends Facebook - but I'm side-tracking now, so I shall go on with the story.


Well I was quite happy that they'd given me the four day weekend and my job at the Restaurant was put on hold until my ankle is 100% (For health & safety and legal reason blah, blah what ever) so I thought I'd watch the Olympics and relax the weekend away, but oh no, it cannot go that way for me.
My mummy dearest phones out of the blue last night saying she's on her way to see me and to have my bed ready for her! My bed, was my first thought, then 'oh fuck a weekend with my mother' - That's one thing I can kinda give her credit for, when she says she coming to visit, she means it! Basically her idea of a weekend away is as four day weekend - so I was hoping she wouldn't notice any bank holiday - or whatever it is.

Yes, we actually have stuff like this
we have to display -
publicly!

This is the point in films where couples get out all the hideous items the in-laws have given them over the years, and I'll be honest, we actually have to do the same thing. Anything my mother buys us is very, well ugly she gets us these modern things that she's picked up abroad like giant wooden heads and they'r so ugly, I just don't understand who actually looks at them and get's them for someone they supposedly love... they're like a 'I hate you, but have to get you a gift, so here have this!" presents. So after we unpacked her shit she hadn't been lying she was on her way. She pulled up (In a disabled bay of all places, outside the building) then actually phoned me to help with her stuff - as if I'm not the f*cking injured party here!


Long story short we lugged (or rather James lugged) all her stuff up to the flat, to which she the said nothing to me and asked James when he was ordering dinner in. 


My mum and James are another touchy subject. She doesn't like the fact he's a vet, because apparently 'he spent all that time learning to be a vet, when he could've been a real doctor'. Yes, my mum thinks she wants the best for me and quote unquote 'someone that fits in with out family' - That's another story for another day.
So after my mother was happily fed (ha when is she happy with what I do) we got down to the important business - I know what you're thinking, my ankle - but wrong again! No, the important business is how I plan to pay for my PHD, to which I flipped out on.


Yes, I told her - in the nicest way possible - that's she's meant to be here to see how I'm doing not discuss things we've already discussed... Sigh, my mother and me are chalk and cheese. We DO NOT get along. 
So I decided to make amends this morning and she actually said sorry (and boy was I shocked) and suggested we do something for me - I though oh a nice facial, manicure then home for a film - oh no, my mother's version of stuff for 'me' is going shopping for her holiday clothes because the shops are better here.
I suppose, it's a big step for her to say sorry and she's decided the couch will be fine to sleep on. So perhaps in 50 or 60 years (In other words when she's *cough* passed away *cough*) we might get along.
Hhahahahaha - or not.
But I suppose this is why I say we're snowed in EVERY Christmas. 


Let's just see if I get arrested for murder within the next couple of days!


But a lovely saying does spring to mind:
"You can chose your friends - but not your family" - Goddam person who decided that!

Oooops!

This morning has been the most mortifying in my life - and I'm the girl that tripped during the graduation ceremony, so I can confirm it's been pretty shit.


I was going into work as per usual and doing the rounds shadowing as I normally do when I got the chance to sit in on a child's therapy, you know to see what I want to specify in - Yes, I am aware, I should have chosen by now and I'm now sat with two degrees and still not sure what specific path to take. But, I thought it would be fun, as long as it didn't turn out the kid was like Michael Myers junior, then I'd be fine.


I sat in and the kid had lost his dad young and started acting out ect. Pretty normal for them situations, but his mum had brought him to see the doctor any how. It went smoothly, I didn't say the wrong thing, but I discovered, yet again, I HATE kids, and do NOT wish to work with them - no matter how much of a 'pure natural', to quote my boss, I am with them. Yes, ok, it was alright and if I have to say so myself I thought I had got through to him, until of course I went to leave the room as I was called out and the kid stuck his legs out. I was completely oblivious to this, as was everyone else, well of course until I fell straight forward killing my ankle then completely face-planting the floor with tremendous force may I add.


The next thing I remember is being lifted on to the couch, and being told "It didn't seem broken, but we best rush you to x-ray" Now, my instant reaction was 'OMFG, my face!" - as shallow as it may sound, but you know, face planting the floor, I didn't really want a broken nose. But no, they meant my ankle and which in my state of panic about my face, I'd forgotten about and tried to stand up and see what I looked like - Then I effing remembered it!


I was rushed to x-ray and no - thank god - it wasn't broken, but badly sprained and bruised, along with my now two giant black eyes and my pride. 


When I was back in the office there was a knock at the door, it was the kid and his mum, they'd came to apologize to me, which was fair enough, until however, the kid said me falling was the funniest thing he'd ever seen and he wants me to be his doctor all the time, to which I stated I wasn't a doctor - yet - and couldn't be. But I did hold my tongue and not explain that I'd very much like to see him trip next time.


Maybe, I'm not that cut out to work with kids, but I suppose I'll have to wait and see as surely they cant all be pure evil. Well, I may best not take that chance!


Now, I am sat foot up on my couch with Mamma Mia blaring away, to which I will admit I'm singing along terribly with. But on the up side, James rushed from work to take me home and is now doing some serious pampering hot chocolate, cake the lot. 


I could get used to this injured thing!

Never Again

Well I haven't wrote in a while due to the fact I've been whisked away for few days in celebration of my new job.

I was whisked away for a country cabin brake, in Wales. One trouble with Wales, rain and lots of it.

We went to a little cabin for a five night, four day brake. It was perfect. But during this brake I discovered something I like about rain - sex - and lots of it. The constant rain and no t.v meant that we need to find a hobby we both liked, and we both like this, so yay, good holiday!

Well, it must've been the dark days due to the rain, the indoor jacuzzi, the log fire. But it was a perfect setting  for any best romantic moment ever!
We spent the days waking up early, went for walks in the rain and how romantic is this? He, being a vet, even managed to save a mouse from dying in a trap, I mean come on it was like being on holiday with every prince charming ever!

But, it was also like something from Jeepers creepers, with the guy who runs and looks after cabins. He was a nutter! Like a serious psychopath (I can say that as I have psychology degree!) He would like "randomly" turn up at the cabin to check everything was ok. But I think he just wanted catch us in the act as the first time he knocked I had to open the door with just a short robe on. In my defence, I'm a decent height and they should accommodate to normal people and obviously not those who want to show all.

Besides our scary moments it was brilliant, but the best part was being shouted at in Welsh.
Well, we went out for a night out, you know romantic and we'd met another couple near by and they insisted we go with them. They were nice, but really city folk. I suppose I am, but they were Londoners, having rarely leaving London. So they didn't want to go alone.

Well we went for drinks in the village near by, only to be asked why we were in the "oldies" pub, and not in the night club, by the barman. So we thought we'd check out this village night club. To be honest I thought it would be mirror image the that slaggy night club on Hollyoaks that they all go to, everyone knows everyone and everyone as slept with everyone, so I was not optimistic.

It wasn't quite a raving city night out, but it wasn't half bad, the music was good and it had a fair few in it. The tragic side that made it like Hollyoaks was the fact everyone knew everyone. So when I went to the bar to get us a round in, I started my drunk habit of talking to everyone around me. As the bar was heaving, I ended up talking to the Welsh guy next to me for about ten minutes. As I was about to actually order are drinks a random girl came up to me and was shouting at me and pointing at said welsh guy. At this point I guessed he was her boyfriend. But I really thought I was so drunk I couldn't understand her. Then after working out she was talking in Welsh, I got really annoyed and shouted "F*cking hell, if you're going to have a go, could you at least do it so I can understand you!" She then didn't seem so angry and started looking sheepish. I didn't think I was scary, but asumed I was winning so I got on a role and really started laying into her. But suddenly the welsh guy I'd talked to said. "Could you please stop, she's sorry, but she thought you were someone else." - What a knob I must have looked at this point.

So me now quickly jumping off my high horse due to this humiliation of basically bullying some local girl apologised and bought her a drink - well like I said everyone knows everyone, I wasn't going to run any rick of getting bottled!

So, as we headed home  after me being teased by the group for my "incident" I was not going to sleep, I as too jazzed up and insisted we all get in the jacuzzi. The rest is rather blurry, but it included body shots, gin and then collapsing in the lounge with the fire burning after me and Kerrie (The girl from the other couple) had insisted on swapping clothes, which was damn confusing in the morning.

In short, not a holiday I shall forget soon and we've met a fellow couple, that we're actually keeping in touch with. and hopefully they don't think I want to be a swinger.

But would you like to know the life lessons I learnt?
- I should not be left by myself when drunk
- I should also not be allowed to make the ending night decision as it turns out, I make the decisions that make you think you've had a foursome, or make others think you want to be a swinger, but really you've just got parraletic and swapped clothes with a randomer.

I can firmly say, I won't be drinking, or going to Wales for a bit. Or at least no night's out there.

"I'm not the crazy one" He Said!

Thursday's are usually my intern day, at the hospital, but now they've offered me two or three day's a week as a paid intern, as I'm starting my PHD in September. Yes I will be a doctor of psychology - One day. God knows when, but I will be a Doctor!


So today I was called in. I got the phone call yesterday asking if I could come in. I jumped at the idea. Then thought, shit, that's it, I'm getting fired. I've made a patient kill themselves or something!
It was one of them moments when wrack your brain for anything you've ever done wrong. 
So after I managed to get no sleep. I showed up about half an hour early and sat nervously in my best work outfit. At least he could keep me on if he thought I looked good!
I got called in Matthew's office (He's the doctor I shadow) I sat there and we literally sat for about 10 minutes in awkward silence. I just sat and stared at him. I looked like I belonged in a group session as a patient!
When he spoke he said this:

"Well Isabelle, you've worker here for a while. You've been outstanding and I see you'll be starting your phd in the autumn." I agreed and kind of relaxed then he then said "Well we were wondering if you'd like to be a member of our team more than just one day a week?"

I was bloody shocked! I mean I new I'd get somewhere but this place is a private expensive hospital and I have a place there more permanently and better paid. Even more so when I get my PHD. 

So today has officially been amazing. But I haven't told you how I answered yet:

I said: "What are you crazy? I mean yeah, yes thank you!" Yes I called my boss crazy, the man who decides my future here crazy. To which he responded, "I'm not the crazy one, with the way you were staring at me earlier!" Oh god yes, he saw! I thought he was reading the papers about me, but he saw. At least he's proven he can crack a joke - hopefully!

Well I can't wait to no longer be Miss. Isabelle Williams but I'm going to be Dr.Isabelle Williams! WoopWoop! Then I will be able to say my favorite line ever "Trust me I'm a doctor!"

So tonight I'm partying with my ladies and get right royally drunk... Rock on Doctors!

Girls Just Wanna have Fun!

Well with my fella gone to Glasgow for the weekend, you know 'Boys-Weekend' me and Ashley are having a girly weekend of our own!


With our lovely house guest gone- which she's a bit down about that - I decided we were getting drunk  and fat!
So last night I took the night off to cheer us both up. Though, she should've been happy because either way her 'love of her life' was moving into the city as lucky beggar had got a job!


Well we had some pre-drinks in the flat and Ash informed me that we were meeting up with a few peoples from under-grad. This unfortunately meant a girl called Emma. Someone in which I absolutely DETEST with every fiber of my being!
It's all because when I was in second year of uni, we got the chance to go abroad to study for a month, brilliant opportunity. I know. Now, she was always interested in James since I brought him out for a student night and he was in a toga, so I could understand the instant fancy from her part. But, throughout the month of study she's sent messages to him over Facebook saying I'd been snogging other guys on night's out and I'd even slept with this guy on my course that had an absolute obvious crush on me. So enough said there.
Well, though he didn't trust her, of course he was a bit off with me, and it wasn't until I asked him what was up he told me what she'd being saying. In the end it got resolved because she admitted it was a "Joke". Who the f*ck jokes like that. The bitch!
Well, after that she would constantly flirt with him and be all over him. So I am honestly happy to say I hate the girl!


Well I got my favorite LBD on (Yes I looked hot. Sorry hotter than her) and we headed out.
It was really fun meeting up with the girls I hadn't seen in a while. We were drinking cocktails, laughing, joking and again drinking! 
Well we all had a few too many drinks, we were dancing on the clubs pole and what not. Then suddenly Emma and Ashley ended up dancing on the tables. The bouncer came over and decided we weren't allowed to do that and they had to go! But as it was a bit dark, despite the dance light's the bouncer missed Ash and grabbed me and Emma by mistake. So as I got escorted out of the building, despite my protest, I ended up sat on the curb, with Emma in tow. 


Well, we decided we'd sit there until Ash and the rest came out, then suddenly she burst into tears! Crying all because we'd been kicked out and that had never happened to her before! It got completely ridiculous, as she was completely plastered, and she actually thought that it would be a police matter. But worst of all, for her, her parents would find out. Now I did try really hard to resist my laughter, but the cocktails got the better of me and I was hysterically laughing at her, you know that kind of laughing that hurts your sides!
I did apologize and everything, but I guess we can call it payback, for what she did, as she was adamant that I got her kicked out and possibly gave her a criminal record - hilarious, I know!


Well there was no happy ever after between Emma and myself, as Ash eventually came out and we piled her in a taxi and she still blamed me.


Oh well I guess I've learned that, life is not a movie and you don't bond over things like getting kicked out of a club and if you've fallen out with someone for a reason, you probably aren't EVER going to be friends with them again.


Never mind, today I have nursed my hangover, threw up twice and decided that next time I go out, don't dress similar to or look like your best friend and you won't get kicked out of clubs in her place!

Birthday 'Bash' Needed!

I am officially not a fan of people!
Especially ones that eat in the restaurant in which I work.


Tonight, it was a birthday party for a girl turning 16. I had originally thought, wow, how mature - when I was 16 all I wanted to do was get wrecked.
But apparently so did they!


It started out OK, until they needed help taking orders, as they hadn't pre-ordered annoyingly. So I had to take all 23 of their orders. So I got round to the 'birthday girl' and she rhymed off her order of some fancy duck dish, then said, and "Could you bring me a bottle of the house red please". Well I'm sure I got a degree, but she obviously didn't know that and obviously thought I was stupider than I look.


She was sat there with a stupid sparkly 'I'm 16 today!' badge on. Now again.I MUST HAVE looked like an idiot! So as I thought she wasn't going to give in I said the typical "Have you got any ID?" to this she responded, "Well not on me, but it'll be fine"


Ok yes, I got annoyed as I was clearly being treat like and idiot and I responded as calmly as I could. "Listen, you were booked under as the part for a sixteen year old, you're wearing a sixteen year old's badge and I'm not serving you!" 


To this she threw her glass of water down me and demanded to speak to the manager for my 'unspeakable behavior towards her' - Unspeakable behavior? What? I was doing my bloody job! Plus I was not being treat like an idiot by a child!


Well after she basically whined to my boss, who was clearly trying to hide his laughter from the delusional girl and offered them a free bottle of un-alcoholic wine and said they'd serve it not say the difference to her friends. To be honest, I think all she deserved in this place, was a slap in the face, but to avoid losing this job, I didn't deliver the birthday present she oh so needed.


Anyhow, now that I am finally home after they all stumbled out of the restaurant thinking they were drunk. Hummm, placebo's do work it seems. What a case study the night has been for this psychologist!


Well again note to self, either don't have kids or make sure they're born like friggen old fashioned royals crossed between Einstein, smart and well behaved!


Time to die before I start again tomorrow with a party of oldies, and I speak from experience they're worse than blooming teenagers!

"Sunbathing W*nkers"

Just so you know, no matter how cynical or blatant you may think I am, I was not the one spouting out my title today. No, in fact, I was one of these 'Sunbathing W*ankers'.

There is something about kids, that get's me so pissed off. 

They must have been on study leave but they were so annoying!

Me and Ashley decided we enjoy a sunny day off by cracking out the crop tops and denim shorts and head down to the park to get our tans on! Now, there wasn't just us there, there was a couple of groups of people sunbathing. So we didn't look like complete losers.

We were lying on the grass, soaking in the rays, celeb style sunnies on, when suddenly, these kids came up to us. They were your typical group of kid, you know, some looked kinda chavvy, some had their girlfriends holding their hands, but never once speaking to them - When did kids become such losers? And such annoying tw*t's? They must have been about 15.

They were standing near us and shouting "Look as those Sunbathing W*ankers!"

Oh good lord. Even I could come up with better insults than that, and it was about myself!

I sat up and just looked at them, like WTF! They didn't back up so I piped up! 

"Shouldn't you be at school or something! Run home!" 

Then one had the audacity, to go, "I'd run home with you and give you a good f*cking!"

Oh good god!

Who actually says things like that? That aren't in porn?

I replayed with as little frustration as I could "Listen! Leave us alone, go home and watch different porn, because your lines are shit!"

That soon shut the little sh*t up! 

They left us alone, but we could here them shouting about us from a near by bench.

But, my stubbornness was not going to move us. We laid there for an hour or so before I got a phone call asking if I could cover a waitress' shift. To be honest, I though f*ck, as I spill everything when waiting on, that's why I applied to be a maitre d, and was lucky enough to get it! Plus it pays better.

So if you go in to a restaurant tonight, and get everything spilled over you - it may just be me that's spilling it!

Also, I think I've realised, if I have kids one day, they will have a tracker implanted and will be taught manners! Stupid kids!