It's been a while

Sorry it's been a while. PHD and that! (It's now officially giving me chills I can say that!)

Things have been  awkward because James came back for a week. Well all in all with that, it's still complicated, but we want to be together. It was more awkward when Callum (from the last post) - who is now like my new Ash - kept texting me.

Basically here's a little run down:
Me and Callum went for dinner and we ok, shamefully, ended up in bed together - I know, James, but, we were so drunk - I know that's no excuse, but it happened. The morning after wasn't right, it was like waking up after sleeping with my best friend - and not in a good way like with James. We both agreed on this and decided that us being friends was for the best.

Then James came back for the week. We went for a drink and after ONE glass of red, what happened? Oh yes, I told him. He wasn't mad - he wasn't even upset - he explained why (and no he hadn't cheated on me) because basically he agrees we were basically broken up and he said after being with him for so long it must've been a relief - but to NEVER do it again. This I completely agree to and once more I love this guy!

My mum came back for a visit and she was back to her shit ways and basically said she was glad I 'wasn't with him' referring to James - then I had to explain, to her dismay, I was and we were working through life.

I've also, rather late in to the fad, jumped on to the Fifty Shades of Gray wagon and to be honest, it's terribly written in my opinion and I do think there was saucier things to read in a dictionary!

Well that's pretty darn basic, but besides that I've been attempting a PHD on things for too hard to explain at this moment - as sometimes I doubt even I know what I'm talking about when writing it!

New Green Shoes?

Well I've got an update on my left-in-car shoes situation.

Well, you all may remember in my last post I thoroughly humiliated myself, projectile vomited in a club, stayed in a strangers flat, kissed him, and have now debated for days whether or not to get my shoes back. I did actually contemplate getting new ones - ergo the title, and I actually went to the shop I got them from, but they don't sell them anymore. So I decided to bite the bullet and face the embarrassing truth I simply had to face this guy again.

So, I remembered I didn't have his number, but he added me on Facebook - so I sought him out!

His name is Callum. Once I found him I contemplated leaving a message on his wall - then decided against further embarrassment and sent him a message - well after I had a glass of wine to give some courage in which to do this  at five in the afternoon!

I sent him a short message saying:
"Hi, I'm Isabelle, from the other night. Yeah, I think I left my shoes in your car. Is it possible I could get them back at some point?"
He replied saying:
"Yea, no probs. I'm home now if you want them today? I could drop them off?"

I decided against this as by this point I hadn't worked myself up to telling Ash yet and I didn't want the 20 question that she would surely give me over this. So I said we could meet at the pub literally 2 minutes from mine - this is so I could make an easy escape if need be. He agreed and we decided on 7pm.
So, I'll be honest I wanted to look 10 times better than I did the morning I left - as when I got home looking in the mirror I was horrified someone had even seen me that way - I wore my sexy black skinnies and a rather posh and pretty blouse to go along with a pair of wedges. In case he was shorter than I remember and I could have the upper hand being taller than him (Pardoning the pun!)

When I was walking to the pub I seriously felt like I was going to vomit - the humiliation I felt started filling my head again. But I sucked it up, grew some lady balls and walked straight on in.

Callum was sat there - in basically a suit! I didn't have a clue why and I walked up to him. He stood as I came near and I was wrong - not too short, in fact an inch on three bigger than me in wedges! I lost a bit of confidence but managed out a hi.
We had a small chat and he's brought my shoes - in tact - in a Burton bag.
Then my nervous side came out. I asked why he was wearing a suit. He explained he's been to his sisters baby's christening in the day and got home when I messaged, so didn't change. He was much calmer than I was. I thought he'd possibly forgotten the kiss - well until he decided to bring it up.
He said:
"You look a bit nervous. Is it because you tried to kiss me?" I was surely bright red at this point but I replied as grown up as I could. "Yeah, god that was a bad night and I was clearly no better in the morning. Thanks for the help though," I must've covered it because he moved on.

We ended up sitting there for three hours and I did loosen up after a little while and three glasses of wine.

He was truly a gentleman, but did make a little joke every now and then about my behavior on the night out. But won me over straight away with a compliment or joke.

By time we had to be heading off we came up to the awkward good-bye and the question, do we see each other again?

Well, he asked if I fancied dinner as he thought a night out was not on the books for me - yet - and under the thought of 'a girls got to eat' I said yes and we agreed for this coming Friday. But, I had to eventually tell him about James, as a relationship is NOT on the cards for me. So I told Callum that we should just be friends and such and he, thankfully, agreed!

What have I learnt from all this?
                - Again  some guys can be genuinely nice.
                - Always remember your shoes when dashing out of a car.
                - Alcohol should not be an outlet for helping me find confidence - I need to work on that!

Breaking Point

Well, I shall start by apologising for not blogging in AGES... It just seems I have had more on my plate than necessary for that last couple of weeks... I might as well be honest with you all I've started my PHD and me and James have ended up decided we've took a break from each other.

Like we still love each other but he's been recruited to do some vet work work abroad on that donkey charity you may all have heard of and well basically we're both going to be so busy until Christmas so we've took a break to see how things go until then!

Surprisingly we're both coping with it very well - well I hope. I know I needed some serious BFF TLC!

Basically Ash has picked up all my pieces took me away from seriously thick books and helped me get my arse out of the house! Because apparently staying in doing work 24/7 and only leaving for shifts at the hospital is "Not good for you" to quote her as she was literally washing my hair for me at my work desk in my room!

Well for the first time in weeks I actually felt great!

She dressed me in my Prada dress my mum got me for graduation and my favorite green heels (As strange as they sound they're fab!) and we headed out for a night out. Now, Ash's idea was to go out and pull a student (Basically her 'love of her life' found a new girl on his jollies and now she feels a bit pied), mine was to go out and FORGET about men and relationships and just get a drunk as I possibly could!
Well my part of our plan well extremely well, so well in fact I threw up in the nearest toilets I could get to - which fortunately for the other women about was in the MEN'S toilets. Yes, I was projectile vomiting into a cubicle in the men's! When all of a sudden I heard "You alright mate?" It was some stranger outside the door, I simply spluttered out "I'm NOT boy I just feel sick!" - Oh the shame of being that person on the night out that even strangers wonder if you're alright. Well, I cleaned myself off and made my way out of the cubicle to which I was greeted by a guy holding a glass of water and a packed of Polo's!
I don't know what wad more embarrassing that fact that he was trying to help me or the fact I realised in the process of drinking the water I spilled it down myself then drunkly said "You can pat me dry" he laughed and said he would help me out to a taxi.

We stumbled outside, him basically carrying me and sat on a curb near by, with him giving me more water.
After about half an hour of silence and me trying to sober up I managed to force out an awkward thank - you. He said it was no problem and he was happy to help and that his night was pretty dull until me. Now, in my still slightly drunk state I took this as an insult and said "Oh glad my suffering has been amusing to you!" He apologised and explained he actually wanted to help me. He asked what was up with me and I didn't tell him my whole situation but enough to explain the drunken antics.

He was really understanding and asked if I need help getting home - by this point I saw Ash waiting by the taxi rank - prey in tow and snogging the face off him, and realised him helping me home was going to be more helpful than Ash so I agreed and we headed over to a taxi. I then did something I didn't expect myself to do. I said "Ash is going to be having crazy sex all night, can I sleep at yours? Not for sex, just for a place to stay." He said "Yeah, that's no problem. I have a flat round the corner with my brother, he's not in so you could sleep in his room"
The taxi drove us round and he piggy-backed me all the way to his third floor flat.
It was nice and not at ALL how I imagined two guys flat would be - basically because it was clean and tidy! He showed me to his brothers room and I collapsed on the bed. Dead to world until the sun crept through the window.

The next morning I did intend to sneak away without him noticing but he was one of the sickening morning people and was waiting for me in the kitchen with a pot of coffee. Now, there was NO sex involved but I couldn't shift the distinct feeling of the 'walk of shame' as I had last nights outfit on and shoes in had. But he didn't seem as arsed as me and I accepted the drink.

He gave me his number and added me on Facebook - even though I did protest and explain due to my PHD I wouldn't have time for it. But he insisted anyhow and he said he's walk me home. I refused as again the walk of shame' feeling still remained and he then said he's drive me.

He drove me home and I said thank you for everything with a hug. Now, with the hug, I thought he was going in for a kiss and he did help me, so I thought, it's the least I could do. Though from the shock he got from the kiss I don't think that was his exact intention. I did the only grown up thing I could think of said thanks and high tailed it out of there faster than my brain could process.

But it wasn't until later that day - after I'd decided to save myself from more embarrassment and never see him again - I realised I'd left my best shoes in his car! So now it's just the debate whether to or when to get them back!

What have I learnt from my antics?
- Never go out upset - it WILL lead to more upsetting times! Also, not all guys are actually after getting in your pants - that or he's gay!

SU Disaster!

It's crazy August has already started!
I'm all better by the way and my mother left eventually - but not without insulting me at least 100 times before she left!

Last night however I was not insulted I was rather flattered.

Last night I went out with Ashley. We decided with us both having a day of today we'd go have some 'We hate Monday's' Cocktails.
We got all dolled up and I put on my new dress, I bought when I was feeling sorry for myself about my black eyes and ankle, and Ashley had on the skimpiest dress we'd ever seen - but of course she could suit it.
Well we went out and Ashley had been giving me the updates on her Mr.Perfect (She'd just spent the weekend with him) she was filling me in when he'd be moving to the city - and basically when I'd NEVER see her again - no I'm joking but she is rather smitten with him, well smitten is an understatement, but I'm happy for her.

I informed her of my worries about my PHD - ugh that doesn't make me feel old! Well I was worried about basically not being smart enough ect ha ha, but of course Ash always has the best cures for worries - We drink!
Well our couple of cocktails turned into ten and we ended up having a Monday night party.
We went to a few clubs but being a Monday they all decided to be closed early - except the local SU - sigh yes, we went to the SU night. I was shocked they had them during summer, but what ever they did and yes we went at 22 and not students. Sigh again!
Being the oldest people there I kind of felt like a cougar, and being drunk that led to me and Ash standing growling and looking retarded for what must have been ten minutes.
But, moving from cougar mode we moved ourselves on to the dance floor and started to hot it up - me and Ash can always draw attention to ourselves when we're out together when we're dancing - but looking back that probably never a good thing and last night we got attention we kind of didn't want.
As we were dancing a group of guys had sort of crowded around us and started dancing with us. Now I don't mind a friendly dance but me and Ash decided we'd slip away from the dance floor and get ourselves a drink - this is when we felt old!

As we were at the bar two of the blokes from the dance floor had left just behind us. As we were getting our drinks they appeared beside us, the chatted with us and we asked if they were students, the initially said yes, but then the truth came out - they were going to be students in September. So yes, at this point me and Ash were getting chatted up by two A-Level students. At this point we saw the error of our ways, decided we'd made a mistake coming to the SU and decided to pack up and get the hell out of there.

Now today, I'll be honest I'm nursing a mother of a hangover and still reeling in my mind that there was school kids trying to chat me up. Sometimes looking young-ish is NOT on my side.
I've learnt a genuine life lesson from this:
- Unless you're a student , don't got to a student night, even at Master's level it just becomes sad. Sigh!

Mum's the word

Due to my accident, in my previous blog, it seems even with all this time off my blog has been lacking - well I guess you all didn't want to hear of the adventures of my watching Friends re-runs and eating Ben&Jerrys. But I'm back with my newest unfortunate incident!


Well, I'm just about all better, back at work - still pulling the old "Ow, my ankle I may need breakfast in bed" on James. But I'm basically on the mend. Which means of course, my mother will now see it fit time to visit me.


I should explain - me and mum aren't close, she used to work as an air hostess- basically - when I was a little kid, so I didn't see her ever, so we weren't close and I got close to my dad. But when he died, she had to stop that and worked elsewhere. To be honest, I saw her more when she flew about. But to speak frankly we aren't close, and NEVER will be. Plus, my psychology degree's have taught me this is why I am the way I am - so ha I can blame my personality defects on my mum - though I don't to her face - I don't say much to her face. Actually I think she read about my ankle off my friends Facebook - but I'm side-tracking now, so I shall go on with the story.


Well I was quite happy that they'd given me the four day weekend and my job at the Restaurant was put on hold until my ankle is 100% (For health & safety and legal reason blah, blah what ever) so I thought I'd watch the Olympics and relax the weekend away, but oh no, it cannot go that way for me.
My mummy dearest phones out of the blue last night saying she's on her way to see me and to have my bed ready for her! My bed, was my first thought, then 'oh fuck a weekend with my mother' - That's one thing I can kinda give her credit for, when she says she coming to visit, she means it! Basically her idea of a weekend away is as four day weekend - so I was hoping she wouldn't notice any bank holiday - or whatever it is.

Yes, we actually have stuff like this
we have to display -
publicly!

This is the point in films where couples get out all the hideous items the in-laws have given them over the years, and I'll be honest, we actually have to do the same thing. Anything my mother buys us is very, well ugly she gets us these modern things that she's picked up abroad like giant wooden heads and they'r so ugly, I just don't understand who actually looks at them and get's them for someone they supposedly love... they're like a 'I hate you, but have to get you a gift, so here have this!" presents. So after we unpacked her shit she hadn't been lying she was on her way. She pulled up (In a disabled bay of all places, outside the building) then actually phoned me to help with her stuff - as if I'm not the f*cking injured party here!


Long story short we lugged (or rather James lugged) all her stuff up to the flat, to which she the said nothing to me and asked James when he was ordering dinner in. 


My mum and James are another touchy subject. She doesn't like the fact he's a vet, because apparently 'he spent all that time learning to be a vet, when he could've been a real doctor'. Yes, my mum thinks she wants the best for me and quote unquote 'someone that fits in with out family' - That's another story for another day.
So after my mother was happily fed (ha when is she happy with what I do) we got down to the important business - I know what you're thinking, my ankle - but wrong again! No, the important business is how I plan to pay for my PHD, to which I flipped out on.


Yes, I told her - in the nicest way possible - that's she's meant to be here to see how I'm doing not discuss things we've already discussed... Sigh, my mother and me are chalk and cheese. We DO NOT get along. 
So I decided to make amends this morning and she actually said sorry (and boy was I shocked) and suggested we do something for me - I though oh a nice facial, manicure then home for a film - oh no, my mother's version of stuff for 'me' is going shopping for her holiday clothes because the shops are better here.
I suppose, it's a big step for her to say sorry and she's decided the couch will be fine to sleep on. So perhaps in 50 or 60 years (In other words when she's *cough* passed away *cough*) we might get along.
Hhahahahaha - or not.
But I suppose this is why I say we're snowed in EVERY Christmas. 


Let's just see if I get arrested for murder within the next couple of days!


But a lovely saying does spring to mind:
"You can chose your friends - but not your family" - Goddam person who decided that!

Oooops!

This morning has been the most mortifying in my life - and I'm the girl that tripped during the graduation ceremony, so I can confirm it's been pretty shit.


I was going into work as per usual and doing the rounds shadowing as I normally do when I got the chance to sit in on a child's therapy, you know to see what I want to specify in - Yes, I am aware, I should have chosen by now and I'm now sat with two degrees and still not sure what specific path to take. But, I thought it would be fun, as long as it didn't turn out the kid was like Michael Myers junior, then I'd be fine.


I sat in and the kid had lost his dad young and started acting out ect. Pretty normal for them situations, but his mum had brought him to see the doctor any how. It went smoothly, I didn't say the wrong thing, but I discovered, yet again, I HATE kids, and do NOT wish to work with them - no matter how much of a 'pure natural', to quote my boss, I am with them. Yes, ok, it was alright and if I have to say so myself I thought I had got through to him, until of course I went to leave the room as I was called out and the kid stuck his legs out. I was completely oblivious to this, as was everyone else, well of course until I fell straight forward killing my ankle then completely face-planting the floor with tremendous force may I add.


The next thing I remember is being lifted on to the couch, and being told "It didn't seem broken, but we best rush you to x-ray" Now, my instant reaction was 'OMFG, my face!" - as shallow as it may sound, but you know, face planting the floor, I didn't really want a broken nose. But no, they meant my ankle and which in my state of panic about my face, I'd forgotten about and tried to stand up and see what I looked like - Then I effing remembered it!


I was rushed to x-ray and no - thank god - it wasn't broken, but badly sprained and bruised, along with my now two giant black eyes and my pride. 


When I was back in the office there was a knock at the door, it was the kid and his mum, they'd came to apologize to me, which was fair enough, until however, the kid said me falling was the funniest thing he'd ever seen and he wants me to be his doctor all the time, to which I stated I wasn't a doctor - yet - and couldn't be. But I did hold my tongue and not explain that I'd very much like to see him trip next time.


Maybe, I'm not that cut out to work with kids, but I suppose I'll have to wait and see as surely they cant all be pure evil. Well, I may best not take that chance!


Now, I am sat foot up on my couch with Mamma Mia blaring away, to which I will admit I'm singing along terribly with. But on the up side, James rushed from work to take me home and is now doing some serious pampering hot chocolate, cake the lot. 


I could get used to this injured thing!

Never Again

Well I haven't wrote in a while due to the fact I've been whisked away for few days in celebration of my new job.

I was whisked away for a country cabin brake, in Wales. One trouble with Wales, rain and lots of it.

We went to a little cabin for a five night, four day brake. It was perfect. But during this brake I discovered something I like about rain - sex - and lots of it. The constant rain and no t.v meant that we need to find a hobby we both liked, and we both like this, so yay, good holiday!

Well, it must've been the dark days due to the rain, the indoor jacuzzi, the log fire. But it was a perfect setting  for any best romantic moment ever!
We spent the days waking up early, went for walks in the rain and how romantic is this? He, being a vet, even managed to save a mouse from dying in a trap, I mean come on it was like being on holiday with every prince charming ever!

But, it was also like something from Jeepers creepers, with the guy who runs and looks after cabins. He was a nutter! Like a serious psychopath (I can say that as I have psychology degree!) He would like "randomly" turn up at the cabin to check everything was ok. But I think he just wanted catch us in the act as the first time he knocked I had to open the door with just a short robe on. In my defence, I'm a decent height and they should accommodate to normal people and obviously not those who want to show all.

Besides our scary moments it was brilliant, but the best part was being shouted at in Welsh.
Well, we went out for a night out, you know romantic and we'd met another couple near by and they insisted we go with them. They were nice, but really city folk. I suppose I am, but they were Londoners, having rarely leaving London. So they didn't want to go alone.

Well we went for drinks in the village near by, only to be asked why we were in the "oldies" pub, and not in the night club, by the barman. So we thought we'd check out this village night club. To be honest I thought it would be mirror image the that slaggy night club on Hollyoaks that they all go to, everyone knows everyone and everyone as slept with everyone, so I was not optimistic.

It wasn't quite a raving city night out, but it wasn't half bad, the music was good and it had a fair few in it. The tragic side that made it like Hollyoaks was the fact everyone knew everyone. So when I went to the bar to get us a round in, I started my drunk habit of talking to everyone around me. As the bar was heaving, I ended up talking to the Welsh guy next to me for about ten minutes. As I was about to actually order are drinks a random girl came up to me and was shouting at me and pointing at said welsh guy. At this point I guessed he was her boyfriend. But I really thought I was so drunk I couldn't understand her. Then after working out she was talking in Welsh, I got really annoyed and shouted "F*cking hell, if you're going to have a go, could you at least do it so I can understand you!" She then didn't seem so angry and started looking sheepish. I didn't think I was scary, but asumed I was winning so I got on a role and really started laying into her. But suddenly the welsh guy I'd talked to said. "Could you please stop, she's sorry, but she thought you were someone else." - What a knob I must have looked at this point.

So me now quickly jumping off my high horse due to this humiliation of basically bullying some local girl apologised and bought her a drink - well like I said everyone knows everyone, I wasn't going to run any rick of getting bottled!

So, as we headed home  after me being teased by the group for my "incident" I was not going to sleep, I as too jazzed up and insisted we all get in the jacuzzi. The rest is rather blurry, but it included body shots, gin and then collapsing in the lounge with the fire burning after me and Kerrie (The girl from the other couple) had insisted on swapping clothes, which was damn confusing in the morning.

In short, not a holiday I shall forget soon and we've met a fellow couple, that we're actually keeping in touch with. and hopefully they don't think I want to be a swinger.

But would you like to know the life lessons I learnt?
- I should not be left by myself when drunk
- I should also not be allowed to make the ending night decision as it turns out, I make the decisions that make you think you've had a foursome, or make others think you want to be a swinger, but really you've just got parraletic and swapped clothes with a randomer.

I can firmly say, I won't be drinking, or going to Wales for a bit. Or at least no night's out there.